Oh love. What a joyous feeling, birds are singing and the grass is greener than usual, and sex is not that bad either.
On the other hand it is the most depressing horrible thing i could ever possibly think of. People in love are nasty. Just nasty people. They make single people feel inadequate. I suppose to a point single people are, no chocolates to buy, cards, gifts, christmas presents, or little i love you trinkets. That money just goes to alcohol, which leads to nights out, then leads to awkwardly leaning in the corner of a club dancing like a parkinsons disease victim trying to talk to women but cant because you arent wearing the latest £30 boxers from Holister.
What happened to good old fashioned girlfriend and boyfriend relationships? I think the last time i had one of those was when i was 10...and even then i ended up getting married to the girl next door in a somewhat cheap ceremony in the back of her grandmothers house with my mother and her mother watching while i awkwardly shifted from side to side nearly pissing myself with sheer embarassment. Yes even at that age i knew love was stupid.
Not to say i have never loved someone before because i have, but when that ended we didnt become friends. I stayed the same and she became a cunt...why do women do that?! what is the need?
At this point i would like to say i feel like a hate camel, and if you have not heard of one of those animals, its someone who try's a few things once every year just to justify their hate for it. I do look for love every year (i never find it) but i do become smug as fuck with myself when valentines day rolls around. I could guess there are probably more suicides in that day than any other in the year...and Thortons are to blame
Yes thats right, Thorntons, that lovely little cute chocolate and card shop who's only goal in life is to make people's lifes that bit sweeter...When really its a vicious little shop of whores who package hopes and dreams into clingfilm and cardboard boxes and envelopes, BUT! You feel compelled to go into this horrible chocolatey abyss of hatred and self loathing to see what goods are on offer so you can bribed your love one to maybe try and love your pathetic self for one more year. Of course when you dont see anything that would suit your one and only, the looks that you get from the Satan spawn helpers could rip your heart out worse than any cheating spouse or boy/girlfriend ever could.
Girlfriend/boyfriend relationships are the way forward. Leave love out of it, unless you really are, in that case i say by all means go for it, and good luck to you. For the rest of us miserable singletons, we shall keep hating your guts
For ever and ever
Amen
Summary: People in love are sniffiling little cocklicks and single people are angry depressed annoying wankers. You just cant win.
